Raves from Readers
"My Husband Is Gay was a godsend to me—the best of any I have read. I have read it over and over and over, and each time discover something new which helps me. My copy of your book is dog-eared and highlighted with a rainbow of colour. You have touched me deeply, affirmed who I am and what I have been through, and I thank you sincerely for that."—M.M., Canada
"I personally found your book to be a lifesaver for me when I discovered that my husband was gay almost three years ago. It made me understand the whole situation much more. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being brave enough to talk about the subject and to write a very enlightening and compassionate book. At least I didn’t feel so alone after reading it."—E.B., Colorado, U.S.A.
"I saw you on television, and felt like you were talking about my life. I was married for 33 years when I learned the truth about my husband. It’s been about 21 months and I’m still recovering from the shock and pain. Thanks for going public with your story. It is so very helpful for those of us going through this crisis!"—D.R., Virginia, U.S.A.
"It’s a really good book. It does a great job of presenting the different emotions and challenges a woman goes through when dealing with this issue. Clearly it is, and will continue to be, helpful down the road to many."—J.H., California, U.S.A.
“I actually read your book twice. It was the only book on the subject that I found valuable.” --J.S., Washington
“On July 5, 2006, my life exploded when I caught my husband of 15 years in a lie which led to the truth...my husband was gay! After staying up the entire night learning about his homosexual life for the past 3 years, I called my best friend who offered to look on the internet for resources to help me understand this shocking news. Carol Grever's book, My Husband is Gay became my lifeline. I remember feeling relieved yet angry that I was not alone, that my situation was not in fact unique. Her book addressed so many of my concerns. It helped me understand what it meant to be a straight spouse, what I needed to do to take care of my kids and what I could expect in the months ahead.” -- E.B., Orange County, CA
"Carol, I just wanted to thank you for your book. After 17 years together, 10 years of marriage and two kids, my husband told me in April that he's been having affairs with men for the last four years. I felt betrayed, alone, lost and alienated -- I know that you know exactly what I mean. . . . I was looking for some direction -- some precedent for this issue -- and after your book I was able to come to terms with what I think I knew all along. . . . I'm devastated to lose a relationship that encompassed more than half my life, but I'm hopeful for my future and I look forward to whatever comes next. . . . Thank you, thank you, thank you." --J.S. Export, Pennsylvania
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Professional Reviews
"With inspirational words from the bible, Buddhist teachers, Chinese language, and even Dolly Parton, When Your Spouse Comes out: A Straight Mate's Recovery Manual, is self-help literature that has something for everyone. Although When Your Spouse Comes Out is marketed as "A Straight Mate's Guide," the breadth of its advice makes it an appropriate reference for family, friends, and even gay spouses themselves. . . . Overall, this book accomplishes what it has set out to do and it does it in an insightful and inspirational way.
--Kristen Cole, Journal of GLBT Family Studies, Vol. 5
"After 30 mostly happy years of marriage, Carol Grever’s husband told her that he was gay. As she discovered, the phenomenon is relatively common because many gay men believe they are at economic or social risk if they don’t marry. In My Husband Is Gay: A Woman’s Guide to Surviving the Crisis, Grever shares her story and those of 25 other women of varying ages and backgrounds. Although most of their marriages ended in divorce, some of those who divorced were successful in preserving a healthy friendship with their husbands. Grever provides practical guidance (including professional resources and advice on telling the children) and positive support for women who suddenly find themselves in a marriage that is not what they thought.”—Publishers’ Weekly
"As a past facilitator of Straight Spouse Network, and having professional experience with women at risk, I believe Carol is throwing out a lifeline to spouses in a sea of confusion and self doubt. Her manual gives women tools to navigate a difficult relationship shift. Carol’s intimate story is absorbing.”—Mary Evitts, Women’s Health Advocate
"At last! A book to hand to anyone dealing with having a gay spouse that will give them hope that they are not alone and that they can do more than survive! Out of the crucible of pain, in what many of us with gay family members experience as ‘the unexpected journey,’ Carol Grever has created a survival kit for straight spouses that offers hope and an opportunity for enormous personal growth."—Jean Hodges, President, PFLAG, Boulder, CO
"Carol’s willingness to face her darkest fears and choose the path of love for herself and her ex-husband provides inspiration to all of us. This guidebook is a thoughtful map of the lives of many women and an essential resource for anyone facing the difficult terrain Carol has now charted with wisdom, common sense, and an open heart.”—Deborah Bowman, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist
"I am impressed with Carol Grever’s ability to pack so much substance and good reading into such a sensitive subject. Discovering your spouse is gay has to be one of life’s most shocking moments. Carol not only tells her own personal story about that discovery, but also tells how she and other straight spouses dealt with the pain and struggled to find their way back to normalcy and happiness.”—Barrie Hartman, Editor
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